On Monday, Michelle Obama celebrated her 58th birthday, and that evening BET aired a special entitled Becoming: Michelle Obama in conversation, during which the former first lady sat down with actress and activist Yara Shahidi, as well as a group of students, to discuss themes from her best-selling memoir such as mental health, diversity and inclusion. Unsurprisingly, Michelle got a lot of great advice, especially when it came to fear.
It’s true. The woman who coined ‘When they go low, we go high,’ got even more inspirational advice on Monday, after a college student asked her, ‘What would you say to black girls who are stuck in this small space? And how would you encourage them to grow as the world around them gets bigger and bigger?
Obama shared, “Fear is a wonderful concept, isn’t it? It’s very useful, isn’t it? Especially if you grow up in the neighborhood, you need a little bit of fear just to get through the day, you have to look over your shoulder. You know, fear keeps you alive in many cases, doesn’t it? Keeps you safe. But also, fear can keep you stuck.
“My advice to people, what got me out of my little six-block zone, was to practice overcoming that fear,” Obama continued. “Practicing transitioning. Practicing facing that precipice, that thing that you feel in your stomach, that thing in your brain that’s telling you to hold back when your heart and your soul are telling you to move on, and you’re just around the corner from that.”
Obama went on to explain how parents play on their children’s fear, explaining that some children, who are first-generation college students, don’t have parents who understand what they’re being sent into.
“Mom doesn’t know what college is. So think about it. Are you letting your baby leave your house on a plane to live somewhere else with people you don’t know? I think one of the most beautiful things about parenting my mom, parenting my parents, is that they pushed us beyond our fears, they encouraged us to do what they told us they were afraid to do, you know? And that’s powerful, isn’t it? But the more you practice pushing beyond that point of comfort, the more it becomes easy,” Obama said.
While continuing to discuss fear, Michelle also recalled the time Barack came to her with a big idea.
Obama shared, “Treat fear like a challenge, you know? Like a muscle. Breaking it is a muscle you have to build, right? For the president, what do you think of that?” My mind logic said, “No! No, no, no, no, no, I’m very scared of it all.” But I’ve had all this practice in my life jumping over obstacles and using these tools that have allowed me to say, “I can do it. I can do it with you. I can do it and keep my kids safe. I can do that and be of use to the country, so let’s go. And if I had said no, I wouldn’t be here today, you know? There are a lot of good things on the other side of fear, if you, you know, if you learn to maneuver it.”
Becoming: Michelle Obama in conversation broadcast Monday, January 17 at 7 p.m. on BET.
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